Uke-Seme and Seme-Uke phrase book

[Kaze-kun]

Uke, ever wonder why you're seme doesn't seem to take "no" for an answer? Seme, ever feel a little confused at that annoyed look on your uke's face after raping him for the 12th time that night? Well, now you can have this handy dandy phrase book, guaranteed to solve your yaoi miscommunications or your break-up's free!

Note: In the interest of space (and me not having to type as much), all entries will be shortened into the following format:

Uke: "A."
Seme: "B."

This is short for "When an uke says (A), a seme hears (B)." Same deal with seme-uke, just switched around. Okay. End boring note.

Uke: "No!"
Seme: "Fuck me!"

Uke: "Stop!"
Seme: "Fuck me!"

Uke: "I love you."
Seme: "Fuck me, then emotionally and/or mentally abuse me."

Uke: "It hurts!"
Seme: "Mmm...that's nice. Please continue pounding your unrealistically large, unlubricated phallus into my impossibly tight virgin ass." (After all, it self-lubricates, right?)

Uke: "Mmm...that feels good."
Seme: "You're not hurting me enough."

Uke: "Now I'm sore..."
Seme: "Congratulations, stud, but I can still shit. Try again."

Uke: *cuddle*
Seme: Fuck me.

And now for the Seme-Uke portion...

Seme: "Heh."
Uke: "I love you."

Seme: "You're kind of cute."
Uke: "Marry me."

Seme: "Get off!"
Uke: "Ne, why don't we cuddle more often?"

Seme: *glare*
Uke: *eyes full of sparkles and hearts floating in the air of their own accord*

Seme: "I'm not into guys." and/or "I'm married."
Uke: "Why, yes, I am gay and single. Why do you ask?"

Seme: "Would you be quiet?" (generally asked after sex)
Uke: "Really? That's so interesting. Please, tell me more."

Seme: "Are you okay?"
Uke: "Either I've been possessed (possibly by an uke) or this is an imposter. Fear for your life."

At this point, we'd like to remind you that your deposit of one uke is non-refundable.

*runs off with all the hot uke boys*

[Countess D]

Hehe...gotta get a dictionary on that [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Kaori]

Wow.......ummm...that was graphic. anyways, I hope no one minds me asking but why can I not go to the website? is any one else having this problem? or is just me? anyways, if this is happening to everyone else than I'm sure you've had about a million people ask. well then..ummm, darn I forgot what I was gunna say. well, please reply and I love that website so I hope it comes back to me sooooon [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] [img]frown.gif[/img]

[Kaori]

okay ummm, forget what I just wrote, I just sort of didn't see that this topic had already been disscussed. well atleast my question has been answered.

[Verykawaiineko]

heheheheheh...that was very funny....*goes off to chase after Kaze-kun* Give back the hot uke boys dammit!!!!